Choosing Your Battles

Over the course of my life I've always been told that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Including freedom. But sometimes, you have to choose which battle is worth fighting in the war. Sometimes, the small ones, that just get under your skin, should be ignored. Too much loss for such a small victory. It's not worth it. 

My fight for freedom is no different. Sometimes though, I give in to the urge to fight the small insignificant battles just because they get under my skin. I usually end up with a bigger problem in the end. 

For example, I usually put up with so much crap in the house on a daily basis, that it just builds up. I try to ignore it, but when I can't ignore it anymore, last night for example, I blow up.  All it took was one really low down, pathetic lie about my father, from the mouth of my grandmother to set me off. I wasn't too mean with it. I just told her to stop talking about him like that, and that I don't want to hear the lies anymore. She yelled and yelled for three and a half hours until I started yelling back and cussing. She made me pee in front of her and my grandfather. That humiliation will be with me always. It was the most embarrassing situation I have ever been in.  I felt no better than a dog. A dirty little animal. The night ended with me in a terrible mood, wishing that I could be rid of all the pain. Then I had to wake up early to get blood tests. The past 24 hours or so have been so stressful. 

The weird thing is though, that when I got out of school, she was being nice. She took me shopping and let me get my clothes for my competition, two new books, even though she refused to let me get something Wiccan that I really wanted, and she let me pick out the nook tablet that I want for Christmas. It was REALLY weird. But that is going to be my silver lining for the day. And also that, despite my grounding I received last night for calling my father, I'm allowed on the computer. 

Do I wonder why she is being so nice all of a sudden? Of course. Do I think I should bother asking and risk another all night battle about it? Hell no. So, I am just going to leave it. A battle may be lost, but that does not mean that all hope is lost for the war. And the fight for my freedom is something I will never give away.